Chemo head.....

Tuesday, June 4, 2013:

I had been doing well from my treatment last Wednesday until.......late Saturday afternoon.  That is when 'chemo head' jumped all over me!  That is a state where my head feels like it is in a vice, I have no emotions, I don't really care if the house were to catch fire all around me because I would just sit and watch myself burn up with it  (or at least that is how I think I would do).  This feeling goes from the tip of my head to the bottom of my abdomen.  A total feeling of malaise.  I have been drinking the obligatory over abundance of water but this time I have been drinking ice water.  My mouth blisters have not reappeared with the vengeance of the last treatment and I am hoping it is because of the ICE water.  Keeping my fingers crossed.  They have popped up but they go away in a short time.  The chemo head went away as quickly as it appeared.  Thank you LORD!  By Sunday night I was feeling better.  Monday and today I have been feeling very lethargic and light headed.  Sunday morning when I got up I had to hold on to things to keep from falling down.  I made it to the kitchen and laid my head on the table.  My eyes had all kinds of psychedelic lights flashing in them.  Wayne gave me some orange juice and that helped.  I could not read anything in the paper.  It took a little while before the light show stopped and things appeared normal again.  It was kind of like when you get ready to pass out and have tunnel vision plus a light show to go along with it.  It may have been low sugar.  Last night after going to bed I began to have stomach cramps.  Now, mind you, I have been unable to eat very much at all.  Mainly because of the taste and some because of the texture.  I had some spaghetti, corn on the cob and about 10 potato chips.  The chips hurt my tongue with the texture.  Strange.  Finally, the cramps spurred me on to the bathroom.  For the first time since starting chemo I threw up.  (Sorry for the graphic.)  So I got to spend some quality time with 'John and the trash can'.  Not a fun night.  All of the above are contributing factors as to my condition today.  I just have absolutely no energy....and that is o.k.  My sweet hubby is taking very good care of me and I don't need to do anything around the house unless I want to.  I did have a small glass of orange juice this morning and I just ate a bowl of frozen blueberries that are sickeningly sweet tasting.  My taste buds make everything seem sweeter than they actually are.  Unsweet tea tastes sweet.  Hahahaha!!!

Strange things are still going on with my skin.  The palms of my hands look grey, my hands look as though they have been under water for several hours, I have a big round circle on the front of my left shin about 2" in dia. that looks like a bruise but it is not.  I get brown stripes on the top of my feet where my sandals straps are that come and go.  I still get a flushed face and it peels in the shower.  More like serious flaking when I rub hard with my fingers.  Even though I drink lots of water I still fight dehydration.  All night and all day I spend trotting to the  toilet.  My urine smells exactly like the chemicals they put in me.  Sometimes the color is pink, sometimes gray, sometimes clear, sometimes a pale yellow.  The chemo smell is nauseating to me.  Even thinking about going for a treatment nauseates me.  I can taste it.  Yuck!  I was concerned with damage that may be happening to my internal organs from the chemo but all my test results for my liver and kidneys and whatever else they check are 'normal'.  Maybe that is 'their' normal??  Oh well......

Another strange thing is the neuropathy in my hands and feet.  Most of the time my toes feel as if they are going to sleep.  Same with my fingers.  At other times the bottom of my feet feel like I have sand on them when I have shoes on.  The past few days my left foot feels 'normal'.  Today my right foot is feeling 'normal'.  I haven't had any pain.  Just a strange sensation.  Kind of like when you have been in the snow too long and your toes start to freeze.  The doctor told us that the sheath encasing the nerves in my hands and toes would be damaged but once  chemo was over with they would repair themselves and return to normal.  It should take anywhere from a few months to several months.

Good news:  My niece, husband and their two kids are coming in for a visit this week and I hope to have enough energy by then to be able to enjoy their company.  I will have to come up with some ghost stories for Zoë.  She loves them!

Side note:  The times when I post does not coincide with the posted time at the bottom of this page.  Don't know why and it really isn't a big deal.

Talk to you later.

Glenda